Cue more crying as George just jumped in front of me his arms outstretched and said "Look mommy! I am bigger now! I am so bigger! I'll be big like you!"
Yes kiddo, you are bigger. You are too big too soon and will be even bigger even sooner. Makes my heart swell with pride to see it but boy does the swelling pinch just a bit.
I can count at least 10 friends who are pregnant right now. Probably more. On top of that my bestie is actively trying to get pregnant which makes me SO SO SO happy... and I am very sure my brother and his wife will announce a baby on the way before the year is out, (I'll be very surprised if they don't,)
Rowland mentioning in passing that he'd be ok with an "Act of God Baby" doesn't help right now. Right now I am praying for an Act Of God Baby like you wouldn't believe.
Next week I'll be ok.
Surprised my initital reaction was to cry. I am realllllly ok with this. If I really, really, wanted another baby I would have done so by now. It wouldn't have been too hard to convince him if I reallllly wanted it. And I've known it was coming and happening and had no qualms about it. I guess it's the finality of it.
Even knowing and feeling we were complete with George there was always the "what if" that chance of nature doing it's own thing despite our best efforts. There was a chance that I could still want a baby and we could just make one. Now that's all gone. And honestly it's great. We've known since G was a few months old that we were complete but both agreed to wait till we were 30 to decide one way or the other since we said if we had another George would be in full time school because I'd want that one on one time with the next baby. And He turned 30 in January and I turned 30 this past Sunday.
But still feeling just a little wistful of what could have been.
Thankfully after the first 2 weeks or so I was able to play minecraft again. I was so bored those two weeks. I couldn't knit, it was hard to hold a book and couldn't play my ps3... It will still be a while before I can knit again. Boo. I am hoping I can knit soon. I want to knit a Creeper plushy form my sister in law Sam's birthday in June.
I am so in to Minecraft. We are a PS3 family so I never played it until December when it was released for the ps3. We got it just after Christmas and we play online together and my sisters in law join us... I've been pretty much playing daily since then. That is unheard of for me. I usually putz around with a game for a couple weeks and then I am done. Typically the game has a finale so it ends. Minecraft doesn't end. It keeps going and there are lots of things to do. If you have it for the ps3 you should totally add me and join me. :D my psn name is jaleco_empress.
slipped and fell on ice friday morning. i knew instantly i broke it. it wasnt the pain, i didnt feel a snap or a pop. but it was the very sharp and sudden absence of all feeling that made it obvious. the moment i landed on it so so so hard, it should have hurt. a lot. it didnt. my arm was instantly numb. the pain came shortly later in waves and throbs and also sharp and stabbing. but it was never as intense as id imagine a break to be. it wasnt a nasty sports injury type tho, so maybe thats why?n regardless i am grateful. ive never broken a bone before and its always been one of my rational fears,
i had to call rowland to come get me. i wiped out right outside Faces (a bar) just a few minutes walk from home. it was 6:20ish am and dark and people were driving by but no one stopped. i was surrounded b ice and even with 2 hands would need to crawl over to the road to stand up. no way i could do that with one hand. especially since my one hand was needed to support my broken wrist.
he ran to me in 2 min flat. george was still sleeping thank god. we were back home before 10 min had even passed. hated doing it but no one else lives close enough to us.
once g was in daycare we went to the hospital. we got there pretty early and were seen fast. i was admitted, examined, xrayed and consulted within 2 hours, it got very stupid busy t this point though. i had an iv prepped and was told we were just waiting for a room to set the bone... it took over 5 hours to get in to this room. i was the 6th break to come in that day and there were lots more after me. the day before we had a thaw and freezing rain so friday was just an ice rink everywhere.
the hardest part was that i had been awake since 9am the day before. i ended up passing out during the big canada/usa hockey game. that would have been fun to watch. i was awake for boring speedskating though lol
they gave me happy drugs for the setting. it was great. finally got to go home sometime after 6:30. we went to burgerking and i destroyed a double whopper and onion rings. (i had not eaten since the small fry i had on my first break at 11:30pm the night before) i then immediately passed out. horrible sleep.
had to get up at stupid o'clock to go to the fracture clinic. normally the fracture clinic takes about an hour. it was so jam packed i was there for 4 hours. i love my sisters in law so much. Sam picked me up and stayed with me all day and lottie watched george so row didnt have to miss more work. they even had an ice coffee in the car for me. when we left the hospital we got lunch and then hair cuts. i just could not handle my bum length hair with one hand. its really short mow. just below chin length, a tad shorter than shoulder length.
im off work till sunday. have to go bak to the hospital fracture clinic for another xray on thursday. they warned me to be prepared to be there all day. whoop.
this legit sucks. i'm right handed thank god but holy crap do i use my left hand a lot. i can barely do anything for myself. i can just barely dress myself but no real bras or jeans. just my pajama bra and pj pants. i have to bring g to daycare tomorrow and i cant even do up his coat. should be interesting. worst part was i started my period same day this happened. figuring out pads one handed is a very messy trial and error process..
rowland has been amazing doing everything. cooking, cleaning caring for me.
im in the cast for 6 weeks and then another 6 weeks or so of therapy. i contacted a lawyer. the sidewalk outside of Faces has not been shoveled or salted once this entire winter.
i wasnt going to pursue legal action but as more time passes the more i realize how much this sucks and its just starting. if there are complications i could need surgery, lose more time from work. im at an increased risk of arthritis now. what if i cant knit or play video games because of this? my aunt had a similar issue and now her arm is just dead weight on her body. cant do anything with it because of a complication. so since this could have been avoided if they just shoveled or salted... ya im suing. Oh but they finally did both on MONDAY! seriously. i walk past every damn day and not once but after i break my wrist? yup salted and shoveled. bleh.
i am so ready for bed again. there is almost no pain at all. . i only take meds at night so i can sleep. i am just exhausted alllll the time. which is fine really since i cant do anything but read and watch tv. i cant knit or play games.. so may as well sleep.
( pics of hair and cast, the last one is my xray )
My mom gave me the recipe months ago and it's just been sitting in my email. I don't want to lose it! These are the best oatmeal raisin cookies I've made outside of another recipe that I lost a looong time ago. Nothing has been as good as that one (and I've TRIED) but these are close.
Chewy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup all purpose flour
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 large egg
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp table salt
1½ cups rolled oats
3/4 cup raisins
optional- 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
preheat oven 350 F
In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla until smooth.
In a separate bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together. Stir this into the butter/sugar mixture.
Stir in the oats, raisins. Add walnuts now if using them.
The cookies should be two inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Bake them for 10 to 12 min taking them out when they are golden at the edges but still a little undercooked looking on top. (very important. You will second guess yourself when you see how undercooked they look on top but if the edges are golden TAKE THEM OUT!)
Cool for 5 min before removing from cookie sheet.
Both. Hot chocolate is best for warming up from the cold. Egg nog is good for something cool and sweet... they both have their place.
2. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
3. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Whenever I think to... Sometimes it's stupid early, sometimes stupid late lol
4. When do you put up your decorations?
November 1st. Sometimes the first weekend in November if we have to work.
5. Do you have a real or artificial tree?
Artificial. We were forced to it by living in an apartment where real trees weren't allowed. So since we had the fake tree we got in the habit of decorating really early. Now we have a house but we like to decorate so early we will stick with artificial.
6. Do you decorate with clear lights or colored lights?
Both. They balance each other out. All white looks too... boring? It's beautiful and elegant and dull! All coloured is too silly looking... together they look just right.
7. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color?
Nah. It's a mishmash.
8. What is your Christmas tree topper?
A star that lights up. I grew up with an Angel topper. Rowland never had any tree growing up but said he liked the idea of a star better. Since he never had any traditions of his own to bring to our family I decided to switch to a star for him. I love it. :)
9. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, we celebrate a secular Christmas.
10. What is your favorite ornament?
A sparkly glass heart I got from my friend Liz in 10th grade.
11. What is the most annoying thing about this time of year?
The war on Christmas. It just breaks my heart. I don't care WHAT you say. Just say it with genuine good cheer. Anything else negates the message of the greeting!
12. Do you send Christmas cards?
Nope. Too lazy.
13. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?
Both... I don't like peppermint but once or twice a season I will eat one and love it. I mostly like them for decorating.
14. What is your favorite Christmas show?
Charlie Brown Christmas
15. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Silver Bells has always been my favourite. O Holy Night is my favourite hymn. I also really love the "Christmastime is Here" song from Charlie Brown. It's just so sweet. It's beautiful and the tune is slightly melancholy. It just really captures a different kind of beauty in Christmas...
16. Do you wrap gifts or use gift bags?
Wrap! I love to wrap the gifts and make them beautiful.
17. Why is Christmas important to you?
It brings back a kind of innocence you lose as a kid. There's magic in it. The land is cold and bare and dark... but we light it up! There's decorations and good cheer and music.... I hear a Christmas song and I am 5 years old again. I never want to lose that magic. I want to share it with everyone. It makes me positively giddy.
18. What is your favorite Christmas memory as a child?
Creeping down the stairs Christmas morning with my dad and brother while hiding under the brown blanket. There was a hole in the blanket so we were peeking through it, trying to catch Santa. We caught my mom instead. lol
That was the last Christmas we had as a single family since they split up the following April.
19. What is your favorite gift received?
George. It was a little early, but on Christmas eve 2009 I had an ultrasound that I was positive would show that I had lost my baby. Instead I heard a strong, steady heartbeat and saw a tiny little blob of 6 week 1 day George.
20. What is your favorite gift given?
The gift of becoming a grandma. It was something I've wanted to give so badly. I found out I was pregnant a week before Christmas so I bought a tiny onesie that said something like "Who needs Santa when I have Grandma?" . I also was able to put an ultrasound picture in with it since I had one the day before.
21. What is your Christmas tradition?
Decorating on November 1st. Walking around the neighbourhood on Christmas Eve to see all the lights.
22. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
We open one gift on Christmas Eve. A pair of PJ's to wear to bed. The rest we open Christmas morning.
23. Do you attend an annual Christmas party?
No. Sometimes I go to my mom's friend's Christmas Eve open house party, but not always.
24. Whom do you normally spend Christmas with?
Family. At some point we see my in-laws. We see my family on the 26th and my dad pops in at some point too.
25. Do you say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas"?
Both. And I say them with genuine good cheer! It hurts my heart when people say them with malice, or as a disguised "FUCK YOU!"
3.5 cups powdered milk
4 cups powdered sugar
1.5 cups unsweetened cocoa powder
Mix everything together in an air tight container. Makes a LOT of mix so make it a big one. Make sure it's all well combined. Should keep indefinitely.
Can be made with Hot Water or Hot Milk. To make fill your mug half full with the mix. Heat the water/milk separately and add just enough to the mug to make a paste making sure everything's mixed well before SLOWLY adding more of the liquid stirring thoroughly as you pour. You won't get clumps or chunks if you do it this way. Top with marshmallows.
The best thing is that this recipe is easy to adjust. If you made it up and find it too sweet add more powdered milk and cocoa. If it isn't sweet enough add more powdered sugar. I find this ratio makes a creamy, chocolatey mix without being too sweet or too bitter. The powdered milk makes it taste delicious with water if you don't want to use milk. Using milk gives it an intense richness that is delicious.4578
He loves them. Loves the car on them, loves that they are his special sleeping underwear. Today he pulled one out and put it on all by himself then put his pants back on and has been in it all day with no accidents. Still used the potty which we have now moved to the bathroom (next step will be switching to the big potty). He was even dry through his nap! 2nd day in a row.
He won't do this in actual underwear. He just pees in those so we've been doing loose pants with no undies. He had a small regression when we introduced pants but finally pushed through that.
Any tips I get when it comes to potty training I just need to do the opposite it seems.
- "Do sticker charts!" someone told me. He HATED those. Stickers made him so mad.
- "Never give candy!" another said... well it worked. I won't argue with results. It was only for the first week that he was nomming on candy non stop.
- "NEVER EVER use Pull Ups" sooo many have told me "It'll cause a regression!" they said! Well... :P
Why is it so hard to keep sight of that?
The biggest problem is that I don't have a style I really like over any other. I kind of read a mishmash of things... I seem to just be hitting on the biggest duds lately. Good Reads so far has been a terrible place for book recommendations. So now I just feel so jaded. I don't want to take the time to get invested in another new book just to be bored or annoyed. I have a big list of books to read and none of them seem appealing right now.
I really, really hope Allegiant is good when it comes out later this year. Divergent and Insurgent were SO good. They had me hooked and invested and just... I loved them. I loved the characters. If Allegiant doesn't wrap it up nicely I might cry. So many series just crap out in the last book and I hate that.
I might try to read another Jane Austen... I love love love the Bronte sisters books so I figured I'd like Austen. I absolutely HATED Pride and Prejudice. I do not get the Mr. Darcy love at all. I couldn't even finish it I was so annoyed. Maybe I'll try a different book and see if I like that any better. I'm in the mood for something old. I might re-read Jane Eyre first just so I know I'll be reading something I love..
His babyness is finally really ending. He is nearly potty trained. I miss perusing cloth diaper websites and expecting fluffy mail. My diaper wash is getting smaller and smaller. He is down to just a single prefold/cover for naps which is dry about 50% of the time and a nighttime diaper. The rest of the time he is bare bum around the house.
I miss my little baby.
I'm a bit anxious about it though because this was so not on the agenda and Nyx's allergies are not fully in check yet (and the stress of new kittens hasn't helped).... but I just keep telling myself this was the hand we were dealt. Glados found Rowland... It will work out. It always does. It always seems to be that way. I have a plan for things to happen in a certain order and they always happen another way. The outcome is usually the same though.
( kitty cuteness! )
George is almost daytime potty trained. He's been going with no accidents. He's pooped on the potty twice. Pooping is still a bit of an ordeal. He is holding back with it on purpose but he's getting there. Ice cream seems to be the best motivation for pooping on the potty.
The next big step will be taking him out and about without a diaper. I might take him for a hair cut later today without his diaper. It's about a 20 min walk there. So we are looking at an hour out of the house with no diaper. Will definitely be bringing some changes of clothes and wipes.
Rowland lost his phone the same day he brought Glados home so we upgraded to new phones. We both got Nexus 4's. I really like them. Cancelled the home phone too and will likely be switching our internet provider in the future,
( more! )
Rowland found her behind a Timmies when he was getting coffee on his break yesterday. We think she is about 6 weeks old as her claws are already retracted but she's still really teensy.
We named her Glados after the AI character GLaDOS from the game Portal. We pronounce it as Gladys. We are actively looking for a playmate for her.
The old lady cats are so not pleased. Working hard to remind them we love them still.
Today HE DID! He took off his diaper and said he had to pee and walked over to his potty and peed! HE PEED ON TH E POTTY! ALL ON HIS OWN!!! He got 2 Batman stickers, a ton of hugs and kisses and high fives and got to call his Mehma on the phone. He was so happy.
I am so so proud of my big boy.
Today I reminded him of the hoodie and put him in underwear. I went to the washroom myself and left him in the living room sitting on the ottoman watching Pokemon. He came up to me sans undies. Told me he peed. Well I found his underwear and they were only slightly wet... and there was a puddle beside the potty and a tiny splash actually IN the potty. Literally nothing more than a dribble got in but he TRIED. He was no where near that potty when I left the room so WOOHOO! He went toward it instead of running to his room.
So of course I laid it on thick with the high fives and hugs and WOW! BIG BOY! and then let him call his daddy at work to tell him how hard her tried. When he gets a full pee in the potty I will have him call his Mehma (my mom) and for the 2nd pee he can call his Aunties Lottie and Sam.
He loves to 'practice' pee on the potty. He has no issues sitting on it, standing in front of it and aiming and saying "Peeeeee" but as soon as he actually has to go he begs for a diaper or runs to his room to pee on the floor.
I don't know how to work with this. This is frustrating.
I slept most of the day in effort to get back to daytime schedule. Didn't do much really.
I got up bright and early with George. I did laundry and hung it on the line. We spent a lot of time outside in the yard. When he was napping I made some peanut butter cookies. And when he woke up I took him to the nearby rec center to go swimming. He was so excited to go.
Once we were in the pool he was terrified. He was shivering like crazy and I was unsure if it was cause the pool was a bit cool or out of fear. Maybe both. At first he kept saying "No, no, no!" but I just kept holding on tight and brought him in further. After a bit he relaxed a little. He liked getting splashed and he loved watching people dive off the high diving board. As long as I held on to him really tight he was ok.
We found an orange pool noodle and he held on to that and started to ease up on me. I still had to hold tight though. He liked when I would jump and swirl around. By the end of the hour he was letting me hold him out away from me so he could kick and I would swoosh him around on his belly. I think I'll get a season pass and take him every Saturday. I want him to be comfy with big pools. I'll see if they offer toddler swimming lessons too.
I was EXHAUSTED by dinner time. We spent so much time outside, walking, swimming and in the direct sunshine that my body was just mush. I had a mild sunburn that made me feel feverish and chilly and super itchy. I ended up passing out HARD on the couch by 6pm. Rowland made burgers for dinner and I was in bed by 9.
Woke up bright and early again. I saw rockthecrown posted on facebook about an early morning Dunkin's walk and I thought that was a brilliant idea. I asked George if he wanted to "Go Crazy" with me and he was all excited to go. (Going Crazy is something my mom did with us as kids. Could be anything from a small walk to a big adventure. She'd just make a big show that she'd be leaving the house and we'd say "Where you going?" and she'd say "Crazy. Wanna come?")
So I got him dressed and brought out his red wagon and we headed of to Timmies for an Iced Cap for me and a frozen lemonade for him. We met the sweetest dog, a boxer/pitt mix. He was a BIG baby. As tall as George and he gave him big sloppy kisses. George was just in love.
We headed across to Canadian Tire and I finally picked up some sand for his sand box (that's why I brought the wagon) then went back home. The way back was much more difficult with George and 2 bags of sand in the wagon. Good work out though I guess.
When I got home I set up his sandbox and decided to help out Rowland and mow the backyard for him. I've never mowed a lawn before. Luckily we have the electric mower now and not the crappy gas one. It wasn't hard, but it was definitely work. We have a HUGE yard. (Seriously enough space for a giant swing set, a giant trampoline, a big pool, a deck and still have space for grass to cut... but we don't have any of that lol) We do have a small castle house/slide, patio furniture and a LOT of giant plants in the middle of the yard that are a pain to maneuver around.
Halfway done the backyard and I realize G needs to go down for a nap. So I put him down and go back outside. He then watches me from his window. Eventually I finish the yard and I am so sweaty it's dripping off me. I am shaky and weak feeling. I really over did it. If I had only eaten something when I got home from our walk I'm sure I'd have been fine. But I hadn't eaten anything since I woken up 6 hours earlier. I'll have to keep that in mind. I am used to going long periods without eating but I need to remember to eat if I am doing physical work. I wish I would have grabbed a peanutbutter cookie when I put G down for his nap... something. It would have helped. My day was all messed up because I over did it. Once the shakes and weakness was gone I just had a splitting headache I couldn't shake.
My mom came by for a visit in the afternoon. George was super happy to see her, she hadn't been by in a while. We relaxed in the backyard and enjoyed the goodies she brought us from Timmies. Another frozen lemonade for George and an iced coffee for me.
I ended up passing out on the couch again around 7pm. We had turned the central air on and suddenly my body just died. My head didn't hurt so bad and I was just OUT. Rowland made more burgers and I was in bed by 9 again. I was bummed because I was excited to show George the fireworks displays people do for Victoria Day... They were just starting when I went to bed.
I can't remember much about monday. We slept in, Rowland didn't work that day. We pretty much relaxed in the yard. I made taco stuffed peppers for dinner and then went to work.
Work was madness. Stupid manager scheduled minimal crew for a holiday. We are right next to the Ambassador Bridge so we get insane traffic on a regular day, never mind on a big family holiday when everyone is on their way home from the weekend. I guess it was just non stop all day long, no one had time to stock anything, they were just bringing up boxes of stuff and grabbing cups and stuff right from the boxes.
When the rest of the staff left for the night and it finally slowed down it was well after midnight. We immediately just started stocking everything we could. The place was disgusting. The floor was sticky. No muffins were made. We had a good 10 minute of quiet trying to get stuff done when Ashley looks over and says "Is that a bus?"
We got a fucking bus at 1AM. In seconds the store was PACKED to the brim with families. We only had one guy in kitchen, one person in drive thru, me on service and one manager. Just awesome! For the most part everyone was pleasant and no one complained about the slow service. Some old ladies were asking to get beat though. They kept screeching at me for their order and I am like... uh huh it's coming. See all these people, they ordered too. Ugh. I didn't even get my first break until 3am. Which is when I am usually on my second break. I ended up going home 20 min early in lieu of a second break.
George has been so cute lately. He spent the entire weekend in underwear and didn't pee on the potty once. He just waited until he got his diaper for naptime and peed then. He is more than happy to pretend to pee on everything though. He takes it out and holds it and walks up to the wall, the cat, my leg and says "Peeeee!" and aims at whatever he is pretend peeing on. He knows he will get a BIG SURPRISE and will get to call Mehma and Bill on the phone if he pees on the potty but he won't have it. He did have 3 accidents including a poop. Ugh.
They finally moved him up to the Junior room at his daycare and he suddenly LOVES going again. All his friends moved up back in December and he would have moved up too but the Junior room was full and he had the latest birthday. He was always sad to go to school. Would tell me "No friends, no friends" and the kids in that room were just SO much younger than him. One kid was only 16 months! Poor kid. Now that he is in the Junior Room he ASKS to go. He says "Go see friends!!!??" "YAY FRIENDS!" "Go school!!!"
His shirt is up showing off his belly, his hand is jammed in to his pants and diaper.
I look at him and ask what he is doing and he screams at me "PENIS!!!" then continues to scream "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!"
the tears and laughter... couldn't control them. So it starts. *sigh*
We were outside for an hour or so earlier while I hung the diapers on the line and then I sat and read a book while he ran around. He started getting an attitude about the stupidest things so we came inside and he had some lunch. and is napping now. I want to nap too but then I'll never sleep tonight.
His attitude issues have been a new development lately. Yesterday we went for a walk and for no reason at all he ran ahead of me turned and yelled so angrily "GO AWAY, MOMMY!" and kept giving me the meanest look. Didn't want to hold hands, wouldn't listen, tried to run in to the street when I asked him to stop. He's like a Jekyll and Hyde. One minute a fun, happy little boy and the next minute he's 13 and angry at the world. Times like this I can believe he will really be 3 in just four months.
I totally fudged up my budget calendar. I'm not even sure what I did. I thought I just wrote the wrong date of my pay day so was off by one day, but looks like I just put things in the wrong dates too so I paid things before I should have and when I went in to pay bills today I couldn't figure out where all my money was. So everything is paid, but we have zero spending money for two weeks and no money going in to savings and now I have to wait to get my gardening stuff. But I'm not planting anything until later this month anyway. I still owe my mom money for some things she picked up for me from Costco last week but she said that can wait till next pay day. She used her Costco card for extra points and that bill won't be out till next month any
( Pics from this morning )